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Published by DOREEN B. | Tuesday, November 14, 2017 2:19 AM
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I thank you for your comment. And yes, you saw the intent of the tense shift clearly...as well as giving me pause to rethink the title. Thank you.
This is beautiful:
Their broad coconut-oiled shoulders
Glistening like smooth lacquered koa
Under a tropical sun.
It's interesting the way you shift tense at the end. Shadows blacken. I think a lot of readers would expect blackened. But you are bring us to the now, right? So the present tense works in an interesting way.
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