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BAMBOO SHOOTS
Works of fiction and poetry by friends of Bamboo Ridge Press.

jerrod_84JERROD_84

high school English teacher. citizen soldier. brother & son. follower of a Higher Power.



Unable to Commit

Published by JERROD_84 | Thursday, September 30, 2010 2:13 PM


BR 100 word contest


“What does that mean? ‘I’m spiritual’?”
“Just what it sounds like: I’m spiritually aware and perceptive.”
“How does that show up in your life?”
“I think about spiritual things.”
“Such as…”
“Karma and reincarnation.”
“Or, you read books with ‘Zen’ in the title, burn incense, and smoke pot. And somehow that’s supposed to make you ‘spiritually perceptive’?”
“Oh, and your judgmental religion is so much better?”
“At least I commit to something.”
“Right, like you’re willing to commit to this relationship that you’re ending?”
“‘Don’t respond to the stupidity of a fool; you’ll only look foolish yourself.’ Proverbs 26:4.”



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COMMENTS


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bdcozz - Thursday, September 30, 2010 8:54 AM.


Nice job creating tension by using some very strong words. You said so much using only 100 words.

Johanna - Thursday, September 30, 2010 5:37 AM.


You do a nice job of creating energy, movement and passion in this piece with the fast moving, back and forth dialogue. I like that. I also like the way you turn it at the very last line so that it's like it's still the speaker talking, but they have adopted someone else's words. Pretty cool.